Sex sells. And we’re having sex. Lots and lots of it.
I’m trying to get all computer savvy and shit and grow this blog. Part of running a website is understanding what goes on behind the scenes. Despite what some may think, there is not a tiny sweatshop of underprivileged child-mice in your computer doing hard labor. Ask me how things worked before I had a blog and I probably would have mentioned something about mice.
Google Analytics tells me how people landed on my website. Specifically, what words they typed in the search bar that led them to either my website or a particular article I’ve written.
This is a snap shot of yesterday’s keyword searches:
The other day I wrote an article entitled Sex Every Day For A Year. (If you missed it you can read it here.) Apparently, people like sex. And they Google things like sex and mom porn and boners. At 5 o’clock in the morning! My recent article about sex has been the most popular post I’ve written. Although Labia Lipstick is still getting its fair share of daily oglers . (If you want to read Labia Lipstick click here.)
The verdict is loud and clear. That little three-letter word means business. There’s no doubt. We are sexual beings. And as sexual beings we respond to sex in advertising, in brands, books and articles. And how do we find this sex I speak of? By a little thing called SEO. SEO (search engine optimization) is the art of adjusting the code of a website and promoting the website on other sites throughout the web in ways that increase the chances of your website appearing in the search engine results based on the keywords someone may type in.
Basically, I need to either a) rewrite the code using popular keywords that would drive traffic to my site (ie. sex, mom porn and boners) or b) actually write about sex, mom porn and boners.
Case in point:
Last night I was searching for “slipcovered ottoman” and this photo came up in my search:
What does that photo have to do with a slipcovered ottoman you ask? Exactly. Someone changed the code to include keywords such as “naked man” and, oh, an “ottoman”. This is why you may be searching for something like a new family crockpot recipe and you get a photo of a bachelor in Mexico having sex with a donkey. Because someone changed the code.
I don’t want to dupe people into visiting my website. Just as I was disappointed when looking for a slipcovered ottoman, imagine how equally disenchanted I would be if I was looking for a “hot naked man laying on furniture” and got the above picture of some guy standing next to a stupid ottoman.
This is really basic economics of supply and demand.
You, the reader, demand sex. Sexy articles. Sexy pictures. Sexy stories.
I, the supplier, have an endless supply of sexy stories – given my recent agreement to have sex with Dan every day for a year.
In an effort to grow my blog business, and as founder and creator of Leigh Bones, I feel it is my duty to keep my readers happy and fulfilled. After all, I want you to keep coming back and referring more friends to this site (wink! wink! go hit share now).
So, without further ado, I will be bringing you weekly sex updates of Dan and I’s Sexcapades over the next 365 days. I know! Fun, right?! I realize this may not be your cup of tea, so if you see “SEX” in the subject line you may want to just skip that blog post and wait for the funny stuff.
To see a little sex video we put together the other night click here. (WARNING: It’s a little dark so you may have to brighten your computer screen.)
I don’t want you to feel cheated so click here if you want to see real people having sex. (WARNING: These are real people.)
You really want sex don’t you? Fine. Click here. (WARNING: There is actual human nudity in this photo.)
Really? Really? You thought I’d show a video of me and Dan having sex? Real porn moms have webcams and accounts on pornhub.com and accept Paypal. I’ve hardly had time to set any of that up yet.
I have, on the other hand, used the word sex 31 times in this post. And I wonder how many blog hits I’ll get.
P.S. I may or may not be giving you updates on our sex challenge throughout the year. It will not be weekly.
P.P. S. I may or may not put “sex” in the subject line of a post for the sole purpose of getting blog hits.